December 7, 2009

On Pictures, the Past, and Words


^My favorite picture of mine, to date.

Today it was absolutely stunning outside. As I took the trash out, I thought about what I would do if there was a camera that could capture the whole entire sky. I wish there was a camera that could capture the colors, the hint of pink in the sunset, the way the tree branches brushed up against each other. I wish there was a camera capable of capturing the wind in my hair and beneath my feet, the way when I spoke this morning a line of fog came out of my mouth, the way my teeth were chattering together during my time outside today.

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As I type this, I know that my wishes will never be possible. But, my camera helps me capture other things, like memories. For that I will always be grateful. But I want, no, I need something more. Day by day, I can feel the memories slipping from my head. I can no longer remember what it was like to be in sixth grade, probably the most memorable year of my life. I can no longer remember my last year of elementary school, the summer where we redesigned my room, what it was like to see my baby sister for the first time, the things that matter most to me.

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It may come as no surprise my desire to document the past. I want to document it so that I am able to learn from it. I want to be able to analyze the past so that I could mold it to make the future and turn it into the present. I want to be able to make it all happen. As I go through all of the cycles of life, I want to document it and learn from my mistakes.

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I've recently learned that the only thing that can capture memories are words. My words, for myself. They are all mine, and through writing things down (using my words!) I am able to clearly remember what happened and how I felt. And for that, I am most grateful.

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Because of this fact and my love for words, I vowed today that I am going to practice my writing more and more. Once I read this self-help book that promised me a better self (and it did deliver). The author told a story on when we master a skill, we as humans seem never to practice it ever again. We just leave it to rest. The author proclaimed that we must sharpen the saw and practice it as each day goes on.

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And I
will. I made a promise to myself, and I am keeping it. No matter what happens.

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p.s.- This was the most I'd written in a long time. It felt really great. And I am glad I made that little vow. Really, really glad.

9 comments:

Wendyburd1 said...

I do love how vibrant the purple is in this pic!

Nahla said...

so beautiful
your ability for describing things is amazing
your words r so touchy :)

James, Tamara, and Andrew said...

Oh gosh, just wait until you're MY age. I shudder to think how many things I've forgotten. Great thoughts, though. Keep writing!

Tamara @ Watching the Grass Grow

natalie said...

Absolutely gorgeous photo! :)

I wish there was a way to capture everything about memories including the way you felt at certain times. That would be incredible! I do hope that I don't end up getting Alzheimers and forget my whole life, because that would just be so depressing :/ It is definitely great to be able to document everything with photographs and words like you said!

Lee said...

Can't wait to read more from you from now on. :)

georgia b. said...

wow. you are such a good writer and creative soul. the first few paragraphs were practically word for word statements of what my own mind processes, but does not seem to be able to utter or communicate. it was weird. it was like reading a transcript of my own mind. kind of cool!

i took a break from my blogs so that i could take some classes in writing and photography and find a vision for my blog. so it's kind of cool to come here and see a transformation and revelation going on. i get it!

love this photos. very very pretty. good luck with your makeover and new vision of writing!

and if i don't talk to you before, have a very happy holiday season! thanks for the inspiration you bring!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Hi- its me - the Tweedles
I am glad i happened to come here today. It was ment to me.
You made me think.
I also will say that your words are what I feel inside. I also love words- and I want to remember things- remember feelings of what it felt like to do something.
I want to remember happiness and love and the feeling of a new friendship- and I do not want to forget. I am like you- i want to write it down-
I loved where you said we must sharpen ourselves everyday- i need to do that.
I wonder if I can start today,
love
tweedles

Tricia said...

Your words touch my spirit, TeeTee. Always. I know that I have said this before, but I will now, (and I probably will again ;). You are such an old soul, in the most wonderful way. You bless me each time I visit.

XO*T

Yaya said...

That is a beautiful picture.