November 24, 2010

the climb.

^ baby teetee.

on monday morning i received news that a student at the school i attend had committed suicide over the weekend. during my first class, the teacher stood up in front of the class and told us the news. even though i had never gotten a chance to know the girl, my heart broke. i sat there stunned, questions running through my head. questions like: why did she do it, how did she do it, was she just done, why? to me, the whole situation was surreal. i couldn't understand why someone would want to take their own life. i couldn't comprehend it, it was unbelievable to me. i went through the rest of the day shocked. i heard about her passing in every class, and heard how there were people on-site if you needed to talk to someone. i sat there through every class, just sad and shocked. i never had known the girl, but i sat there feeling so sad. sad for her family, sad that she would want to take her own life away. and just sad, period.

for me, her passing reminded me of how alive i am. sometimes i will sit and listen to the steady rhythms of my breath. sometimes i take my hand and place it right over my heart, to remind myself that i am alive and my heart is still in my chest and beating. and then i will scream in my head "you are alive! you are living, and my gosh, that is amazing!"


as thanksgiving rolls around, i am reminded to give thanks. i feel so grateful for my parents, my friends, and every single person that i have met and gotten to know in my life. they all have taught me something, whether it be good or bad. i am so thankful for all of the opportunities and blessings that Heavenly Father has given me. i am thankful for everything, all of the bits and pieces that make up my life.
but most of all, i am thankful for the fact that i have someone that i can go to if i feel like my life is just not worth living anymore. i have people that would lift me up off the floor and convince me to turn it around. i am thankful to have someone like that in my life.

may you rest in peace, i hope you found what you were looking for.
you will be missed by all that had the wonderful opportunity to know you.