April 16, 2011

rolling in the deep.

"sometimes i feel myself slowly slipping away.
it feels as if i am a snake, shedding its skin.
i feel my attitude changing, my personality changing.
i am changing.
i am becoming more sure of myself, i am growing, my body is changing and i am beginning to love in a new way.
i can feel myself loving in a way never before, and it's strange.
but i like it. and i hope it's here to stay."

^ i wrote this about eight months ago. i feel that right now, right this very second, i feel the exact same way. i feel like i am shedding my skin and really finding myself. i feel my heart expanding, getting ready to love someone again and also making room for someone else to enter. i truly am becoming more sure of myself, i'm second-guessing myself less and less each day. i truly do feel myself changing, deep in my soul, deep in my roots.

i remember this time last year very, very clearly. during springtime last year, i fell in love. i fell hard. and i think back to these same months, last year, and i have grown so much. it's unbelievable even to me. and i can honestly say that i would not be who i am right this very second without all of these experiences that i lived through last year. they changed me, and though i didn't believe it back then, it was for the better.

i've learned so much.

i've learned to not depend on anyone else for your happiness. i learned that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. i learned that fate is truly real. i learned to put yourself out there. i learned to take a risk once in a while. i learned that love is hard, but i learned that love is totally and completely worth it. but most importantly, i leaned to love myself and to be myself.

i believe that by living each and every day, i am also growing and learning something each day. and by doing that each and every single day, i'm one step closer to finding myself.

for good this time.


Lizzie said...

I enjoy how you phrase things. :)

Yes, I've learned to love myself and to be myself, too.

Fantastic blog, dear!

Tamara said...

I think I was about 34 when I really found myself...it's a long, hard road, but once you're there, you're there. Keep growing. :-)

Nick and Whit said...

hello... I like your blog. Your pictures are wonderful and your thoughts are hitting home. It's nice to know that there are other women out there trying to find themselves and be open to knew possibilities. you are encouraging me without even knowing it. stay true and stay strong. no one is more beautiful than you!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

i wanted to come hear what you were thinking and feeling,,, i am glad i did.